As I think about my decision to adopt, there are certain concerns that jump out at me. I’m trying to deal with them one by one, identifying and weighing my options, trying to find the best solutions to each. The concerns I have are pretty typical I think… can I afford this? What about the logistics? Will I be able to find after school care or babysitting? Will I have to move into a house with more bedrooms? Should I stay in the city or go back to the ‘burbs? Where are the best schools located? And the list goes on…
But my biggest concern is when will there be time for me? What about my Friday nights when I like to hit the take-out aisle of the grocery store and curl up on the couch at home in front of the TV, after a long week at the office? I don’t think I could function now without my night to stay in and veg, so how will I function once I have kids?
I do not intend on being one of those mom’s who says “once you have kids there’s just no time left for you!”. I firmly believe that to be a good parent, you need to be good to yourself, and that means taking breaks. Lots of breaks. I’m lucky enough to have an incredible support system in the making. I have already informed my mother that she’ll be my free after-school care (one down!), but she’ll also be there for me if I need some time off once in a while. There’s no reason my kids can’t go to Grandma’s for a weekend once a month, or spend the day at the zoo with my cousins, or once they’re comfortable enough, to have sleepovers with friends. I’m certain there’s another mom out there willing to trade sleepovers once in a while.
As for those Friday nights, I think the answer to that problem is to embrace it by making it a fun thing for the kids. “Children, Friday is our family night in! We can order pizza and watch movies until mommy falls asleep!”