Another Clean Slate: 2010

I wasn’t going to publish this post until closer to the new year but it seems I’m being nagged about it so here you are:

There’s nothing I like better than a clean slate. You might call it OCD if you really knew me, but I call it an annoyance with clutter. Clutter on the kitchen counter, clutter in my house, clutter in my life. Nothing makes me feel better than wiping down those surfaces and having things put away neat and tidy. This year I’ve tidied up many aspects of my life which I’m quite proud of. What a fabulous year 2009 has been for me. In accordance with the mandatory year-end post laws, here is a list of all the things I’ve accomplished this year:

1) I stopped being bitter and angry with my ex. This time last year I was still sorting out our joint finances as well as lot of leftover emotions. I felt as though I would never be completely rid of him, it was one thing after another and it was eating away at my happiness. I finally made the decision to eat the financial costs myself and cut him out of my life completely. My banker wasn’t particularly happy about it, but this was by far the best decision I’ve ever made for myself. That leads me to number 2.

2) I paid off a lot of debt. I felt like I was living in a box some days but I got it done. I am now a lot more confident in my abilities to make good life and financial decisions. I learned to never ever join my finances with another person and to maintain my own credit. I also started building my assets, which feels pretty freaking awesome.

3) I’ve built confidence in my career. I have good relationships with my co-workers and my supervisors. My boss appreciates me and gives me a lot of responsibilities, all of my performance reviews have been stellar, and I’ve been rewarded with pay increases and bonuses. I’m taking courses to better my knowledge in my career, and I’m training for a new position. I also volunteered with my department Manager to do a meet-and-greet with new enrollees in a college program that we recruit from. That was a huge accomplishment for me and I really had to challenge myself to get out there and speak in public about what I do.

4) I took vacations. This doesn’t really seem like an “accomplishment” but for someone who never really took any as a kid and who couldn’t afford to as an adult, this was big for me. They were small and I didn’t go far- but the point was that I was finally able to get out there and experience things. I can’t wait to do that again this year!

5) I read the “bitch book”. That is the term T and myself use for Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov. This book has become my bible. It’s not about being a bitch to snag a man, it’s more about knowing your worth and standing your ground and not letting people walk all over you. This book gave me back some of the confidence that I had lost after my previous relationship, and its theories have been tested by both T and I and THEY WORK! Haha

6) I’m taking better care of myself. Okay, I haven’t gone leaps and bounds with this one yet but I’m working on it. I’ve been eating a bit better, exercising a little more, and doing other things like getting periodic massages and bothering to put on make-up every day. I don’t know if I’m making progress on this because I’m happier or if I’m happier because I’m making progress on this, but I think it’s the former. I’m just generally taking a greater interest in putting myself first, and I’ve realized that it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes.

7) I literally de-cluttered. This year I threw away dozens of bags of crap I don’t use or need anymore. I got rid of old furniture and bought nicer, newer pieces. I got rid of anything that even slightly reminded me of my ex, and anything with significant sentimental or financial value (jewelry, a wedding invitation, the glasses we toasted with when he proposed) I either gave to a girlfriend to hold on to for me, or I boxed up tightly and put out of sight. This reminds me of that song… *I can see clearly now, the rain is gone*.

8 ) I came to terms with my Grandma dying. Her passing on January 2nd/09 started my year off pretty crappy and I have struggled to remember how she was before she got sick, but I think I have managed to sort it out in my head now. Writing the post A Tribute to a Wonderful Woman really helped me to remember the way she was, and the sound of her laugh.

9) I discovered that I really like yam’s. They’ve got to be cooked thoroughly though. Thanks to CH for practically shoving them down my throat the last time I was in Vancouver (okay not literally).

10) I am once again room-mate free! I haven’t lived alone since before my ex moved in with me (~3 years) and it is a great feeling. I love not having anyone to clean up after or to get mad if I don’t take the garbage out the minute I tie up the bag. And, last but not least…

11) I started this blog and by doing so, found a way to not only express myself, but to make new friends. I’m so glad to have all my “blog buddies”. I hope you stick around.

 

Even though I accomplished so much in 2009, there is always more to be done. In no particular order, here’s what I want to accomplish in 2010:

1) Keep blogging. I got to 2000+ hits in less than 10 months, most of them being in the last 3, so maybe by the end of 2010 I can be at 5000. I don’t really write this blog to see how many people I can get to read it, but I like a good challenge, and this might keep me motivated.

2) Drink a little less alcohol. I don’t drink often but when I do, I can throw them back pretty good. I’m getting old though (haha) and my body is a little less tolerant than it used to be. Let’s scale that back a few beers. Sorry Molson.

3) Make some new friends. Sure, I have friends- but life goes on and people go down different roads. Last year I cut some people out of my life- not because they were bad people or because I don’t like them anymore, but because maybe they weren’t good for me, or they weren’t making me feel good when I was around them. This year, I need to find some new people who brighten my day.

4) Go on some more vacations. Anywhere. To see anybody. Just experience life I’ll definately be making my way through Vancouver to see CH, and then the island to see M… but that’s all I’ve got planned so far. Maybe I’ll make a trip to Cincinatti, Cleveland, Boston, or Florida to visit my family there and get to know them a little better. I could always go to Oregon or California to see the other side of the family. So many options I never knew I had.

5) Learn to spell the word definitely without having to spell check. That second “i” trips me up every time.

6) Continue building my financial assets. I am woman, hear me ROAR.

7) Get the oxygen sensors on my jeep fixed so that stupid check engine lights goes off. Oh, and don’t accept any more stupid dares from my brother, like driving through mud puddles that turn out to be mud pits. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

8 ) Get promoted! I’ve recently received a technical promotion by training to be someone’s back-up, but at some point this year I should be taking over his position completely. Hopefully this means another raise before the end of 2010.

 

What woman doesn't live for a little interior design?

9) Replace some more furniture. I think this year it’ll be a new couch, and entertainment unit.

10) Get more massages. I didn’t “up” my benefits for nothing, I’ve got to take advantage of that. Plus, it’ll help with my pressure headaches when the weather changes. Stupid Calgary.

A Little Remembrance

Well that’s it! I don’t really have anything pressing to worry about in 2010. Man that’s weird, what will I do with myself? Most of my friends are going away for the holidays and I’ve been debating what to do for New Years. Usually NY kind of sucks and this year I wanted to do something great. Well, I doubt it will be “great” but I think this year I’ll go home. Going over my accomplishments from ‘09 made me realize that it might be nice to mark the 1 year of my Grandma passing by paying her a little visit. Maybe I’ll go home and make an effort to spend a little time with my older brother, God know’s we have a lot of getting to know each other to do. Even if I don’t, it’ll be nice to enjoy the fresh mountain air for a few days. 

Have a GREAT 2010! 

Say Cheese

A few weeks ago I promised (or more- threatened) to post some photos from my new camera of absolutely nothing looking absolutely fabulous. Well, the first is absolutely fabulous and the rest are absolutely nothing. I can’t, however- take credit for the first.

 

I was the recipient of a msg from “Buff” on POF a couple days ago. He wants to go out sometime soon. He also found it appropriate to tell me he likes to be dominated. I’ll let you take from that what you will.

Yesterday I blogged about Tim Horton’s coffee, then I had a humorous conversation with a fellow blogger who visited Canada recently and wasn’t very impressed with our good friend Timmy.

…she preferred Starbucks, which was conveniently being handed out for free in my office building this morning. I think the stuff taste like poison.

My team won the coveted Land Trophy at work today, with our fashioned themed Christmas tree. Introducing: Christi Pine, Fashion Diva!

and last but not least… Mr. Bojangles who keeps me company all day got some fun decorations from our good pal Lynda.

 

An Early Career Blip

When I first started in the Oil & Gas Industry, I worked in the file room. It was definitely what you would consider “bitch work” and was by far the dullest thing I’ve ever done. The senior lady on my team had been with the company through an acquisition for over 20 years. She was close to retirement and was extremely opposed to change and to anyone who challenged or threatened her. Being young, ambitious, and in my opinion somewhat bright- I think she found me to be a threat to her reign over the well files. She was supposed to be training me but wouldn’t answer my questions directly and when I tried to ask more questions to clarify, she would yell at me. She used to get upset about the silliest things, like someone turning up the heat (she was one of those menopausal women who liked the air conditioning on in the middle of winter) and she always took it out on me. If someone complained documents were missing from a file then “it must have been the new girl”. One time she threw a fit because there was three of us and only one coat stand. After having it out with our other co-worker she turned to me to come to her defence and when I responded that “there are actually 4 hooks on that one coat stand and I don’t see why it’s a problem that our 3 coats touch each other” she absolutely lost it. She told me I’d only been hired because she thought I was old enough to do the job and young enough to do what she told me. Needless to say, I didn’t enjoy this job very much and I cried my 19-year-old self to sleep most nights because I didn’t know what to do. I had tried talking to my supervisor about it but her response was always “you’re bigger than her”, and she didn’t mean it in a moral way either. You see- many people had complained about this woman in the past but they were afraid to let her go. They would have to pay her out too much because of her years with the acquired company, and if they didn’t they would surely get sued. Eventually I got myself so worked up that I got sick, and I didn’t go into work for almost 2 weeks. My boss was upset with me and I explained to her that I was too stressed out and it was wearing me down, but she didn’t care. When she offered to renew my contract after 6 months, I politely declined, explained myself, and moved to a better position at another company.

A couple years down the road I decided to move to Vancouver Island with my ex. I happened to run into my old boss on the bus and we got chatting a bit. I was going to need some references for my job hunt on the island and due to my minimal years in real jobs I didn’t have very many. I sent her an email shortly after our chance meeting and asked if she would be willing to let me use her as a reference. I knew I was taking a chance but I figured since she had always liked my work and had expressed wanting to keep me when I declined a new contract, it would be okay.

Fast forward a month or two. There wasn’t a lot of work on the island so I really couldn’t be choosy. I managed to find a really great opportunity to run the office for a summer theatre program in the little tourist town where I would be re-locating. I talked with the lady on the phone for about a half hour before I moved, and once I got there we sat down and talked for about 3 hours. It was obvious she liked me and my ideas and I was certain I’d get the job. When she didn’t get in touch for several weeks I started to wonder what was up. Finally we connected and she informed me she was giving the position to one of the girls already in the office. What the heck? Okay, alright. I’d never not gotten a job I’d interviewed for before, this was a strange feeling- but on to the next!

I lined up a couple more interviews, one as a receptionist for a roofing company and another as an office manager for a summer camp. I went to the camp interview to discover that the entire camp office was about the size of my office now. It was some ratty old shack with no bathroom and the entire thing was quite disgusting. I told myself there wasn’t a hope in hell I’d take this job if they offered it but after over a month of job hunting I was desperate and I accepted. On my first day the only one in the office was the lady who’d been hired to temporarily fill in the position. She was not too pleased to be training someone for her job, let me tell you that. She showed me some documents in excel that had to be updated every month, and some other ridiculous stuff that only took half a brain to accomplish. The next day as I pulled in I noticed the other 2 girls exiting the office whispering. I went in and my boss (who by the way was a half balding scraggly haired man with sweat pants and dirty running shoes) informed me that one of my references had been quite hard to get ahold of and had finally returned his call- and it wasn’t a very good reference. He told me I was being fired.

You’re wondering if I’m serious, right? You must be because that’s exactly what I was wondering. The words running through my head were “YOU are firing ME?!” Who did this scum ball think he was? I was probably the best damn thing that ever set foot in that crappy ass shack!

It was only a couple weeks later that I ended my relationship with my ex, and moved home. After a month of living with my Grandma and job hunting, I landed a great job at the company I’m still working for now.

The point of my post is that no matter how humiliated I was to receive that bad reference or to be fired from a job (for the first and only time in my life), there was a reason for it. I was never meant to make a permanent move to the island, I was never meant to be with my ex, I was never meant to run a theatre office and I was sure as hell never meant to work in a run down camp shack with Oscar the grouch.

If only they could see me now!

Prenuptial Agreements

http://ca.finance.yahoo.com/personal-finance/article/canadianpress/1313/when-to-consider-a-prenuptial-agreement

I came across this article on Yahoo and I thought I’d post it to stir up some conversation. I know a lot of people are still pretty scared by the idea of a prenup but personally I’m all for it. As someone who’s been financially burned in a past relationship, I’ve learned to take my financial independence a lot more seriously.

Here’s my opinion: Everything you have going into a marriage remains yours when and if you exit that marriage. Anything obtained during the marriage is split equally should that marriage end.

What if she’s a stay at home Mom and he makes $100,000 per year? Doesn’t change a thing in my mind. Being in a relationship means doing things together, compromising for each other. You do this, I’ll do that. You go to work, I’ll raise the kids and rub your back when you get home. You work full-time until the kids are 10 and then we’ll both work part-time. Yadda yadda. Every marriage requires different contributions from each party but the point is that they’re still doing it together. Maybe he works all day but perhaps she’s the one who format’s his resumes, pays the bills, and listens to him vent every night.

Why do I think what was yours going in should be yours coming out? For the exact same reason. The spouse wasn’t around then to share in the responsibilities and stresses etc. If you were 100% responsible for obtaining what you had as a single- then no one else should be able to claim that.

What do you think?

10 Reasons it’s Cool to be Canadian

10. Dog sleds and reindeer and that little mouse that runs around and around on his wheel to keep my igloo warm (I really hope you know that’s a joke)

9. Bryan Adams, Kiefer Sutherland, Keanu Reeves, Pamela Anderson, Jim Carrey, Avril Lavigne, The Barenaked Ladies, Sum41, Celine Dion, Alanis Morissette, Sarah McLachlan, Kristen Kreuk.

8. We can travel to other countries fairly easily because everyone thinks we’re so darn friendly

7. Molson Canadian beer. Mmm mmm good

6. From the east coast to the west coast, we’re a beautiful country (actually, you should probably skip Saskatchewan)

5. Winter activities/sports: Snowmobiling, skiing and snowboarding (even though I don’t partake in the last two)

4. Mr. Dress-up is the shizznit

3. Tim Horton’s coffee. Yumm

2. Hockey. GO FLAMES GO!! And last but not least…

1. We can build the most wicked-awesome snow forts. Actually- I might add doing this as an adult to my bucket list.

Growing Pains

Yes, I’m still mad at my Mother. It’s taken me a really long time to acknowledge that fact. I was always a Daddy’s girl but as a really shy child, I did everything with my Mom. When I was 13 my Aunt died (I posted about that here) and about a year or so later, my Mom decided to leave my Father and move my brother and I away to live near her family. At first I was pretty excited. I’d never lived anywhere other than the Crowsnest Pass and all through my school days there was always people moving to town and people moving away. I thought those kids were so cool because they got to have all these new experiences. Yeah… not really so much fun. My cousin AA lived in the town I was moving to and since we’ve always been really close, I was happy to be spending more time with her, but the day we left- reality struck me and I was hurt. My Mom had told me the day before we would be leaving, but she hadn’t even told my Dad yet. I came home from school the next day and my parents were both visibly upset. My Mom’s truck was packed with all of our things and I remember sitting in the front seat, crying and screaming for my Dad as we pulled out of the driveway. I remember Dad standing on the steps with the dog, his eyes red and puffy like he’d just been delivered the biggest blow of his life. [*Blink blink* Hey Travis- I think I got some of those chemicals in my eye.]

As soon as I moved, my defences went up. I was terrified to go from a school of 300 kids to a school of 1100 and I begged and pleaded my Mom to let me do homeschooling. I would have to make all new friends and, I realized once I got there that my cousin being a grade under me- was still in the middle school, so I wasn’t even going to have her to help me through. I did make a few friends that semester but I was so angry with my Mother for doing this to me that I closed myself off and stayed in my own little bubble. I developed a really bad attitude as part of my defence and I stopped listening to my Mother and started doing my own thing. Between my Aunt dying and my parents splitting I felt like the remainder of my youth had been stripped from me and I had to be an adult. I became really independent and I learned how to survive on my own. These aren’t all bad things I guess, but no child should have to deal with grown up problems. A child deserves as much time as possible to be innocent and lively and I felt like that was all taken from me. I watched my Mom go from not working to struggling at being a single parent and trying to pay the bills. I got my first job when I was 15 and my Mom started making me pay for everything on my own. Shortly after that she started charging me rent.

My Dad had several nervous breakdowns in the months after that, and was on so many medications that he had to stop working. All of the medications caused more problems and I dealt with several years of my Dad being on-again off-again coherent. Sometimes he would fall asleep mid-sentence or fall asleep while smoking a cigarette. For a while his medical issues got so bad that I thought he was going to die- more than a few times he almost did.

I was angry at my Mom because I felt like all of this was her fault. She didn’t even have a good reason for leaving (in my opinion). It wasn’t like there’d been any infidelity, and sure her sister had just been brutally murdered by her husband but my Dad had never been abusive. My Dad would have gladly moved home with my Mom to help raise my cousins and in fact- a couple years after he did move so he could be closer to my brother and I, and I think secretly to try to get my Mom back. That didn’t work though and he wasn’t happy so he moved back again a couple years later and he’s been doing better (though not great) since. Neither of my parents have re-married, or even dated for that matter. I can’t imagine how weird it would be (will be?) if/when they do. Heebie Jeebies.

I guess I feel like my Mom gave up. She wasn’t happy with her life and instead of opening up to the person she was married to, she just left. She quit. And this- is why I am still mad at her.

Edit: I’m also mad because she put my brother and I into the middle of it. We got pushed and pulled in a lot of different directions for a few years.

We’re closer now- we talk every day or so and I see her often but we’re not chummy. I don’t tell her about my boyfriends or about anything that’s really personal to me. I don’t tell her my thoughts or the things that bother me. She doesn’t know I have a blog. My friends know more about me than my Mom does. Isn’t that kind of sad? I don’t know how to change it though. I fear that in order to get over it I’ll eventually have to address the issue with her- but that’s not really something I’m up to doing at this point. I guess we’ll see.

I’m leaving #2 for another post… I should probably get some work done seeing as I just got a nice fat raise.

Ciao!

My First Guest Blogger

I have so much to blog about. I’ve actually been keeping a list in my phone but I either haven’t had the time or I haven’t been able to find the words to put it all together. Do you ever feel like your tongue-tied? Like everything you say comes out all shambled together in a big mess and it makes no sense, and your fairly certain everyone reading it thinks you’re a moron? Yep- that’s how I’ve been feeling lately. In a bit of a funk I suppose- but I’m on my way back now.

The list in my phone looks a little like this: 1) I’m still made at my Mother 2) Bad references- for a reason 3) I’m sure glad I lived with you, Robyn 4) Guest post by Lauren Leto.

Well let’s start with the easy one- As soon as I get my shit together and add her as a contributor (I should really do that now) Lauren Leto who co-runs (is that a word? Probably not but you get what I mean, right?) the site “Texts From Last Night” is going to be doing a guest post on her new book. Lauren has also started a new site called Mom’s Msg’s which is definitely on its way to being as funny as TFLN. This will be my first guest post and I’m excited to see what will come of it.

I’m not really sure how #3 ended up on my list of things to blog about. I probably put it there Saturday night after my Christmas party, when I was blitzed out of my mind. Robyn is my ex-room mate and I couldn’t stand her cat’s or her mood swings so I’m going to assume this blog was meant to be sarcastic. At any rate, let’s move on…

Edit: This ended up being kind of long so I’m going to make it a separate post.

This Is My Victory Dance!

I got a raise! I got a promotion! I got a bonus!! I’m so bleeping excited I can’t even read the letter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to run up and down the hallway screaming but that would upset all the co-workers who didn’t get squat. SUCKAS. Muah haha.

*If I had a million dollars… I’d buy you a monkey. Haven’t you always wanted a monkey?*

Happy Monday to meeeeee, Happy Monday to meeeee!!!

The Best Site Ever

I just accepted a friend request on 20SB. Next thing you know I’m looking at her site, TFLN (Texts From Last Night) and there are tears streaming down my face.

Thank you Lauren Leto. THANK YOU.

I would post my favorites but that shit’s so funny it’s gotta be copyright so instead… look at the blogroll to my right —–>

…and enjoy!

Christmas Apples

Christmas Apples

I had my department Christmas lunch today, so I wore this awesome green silk shirt that I bought for the season last year. I forgot to put on my jewelry though because I was running late- so my co-worker started wrapping this string of yellow Christmas decorations around my neck, and then she came into my office carrying two apple decorations and two paperclips. She made earings out of them! I coated them in clear nail polish so my ears didn’t get infected. They were QUITE a hit at the party! ha ha.

At work we have this little corporate challenge. You can win gift cards for submitting creative photos that in some way incorporate the words “I Heart _company_”. Last year my manager shaved his head for cancer, and someone taped the company logo and the words to the back of his bald head. This year, as part of our secret santa gift exchange, someone had the words put onto a pair of panties. They gifted them with a bottle of wine and scented white rose petals.

“I Heart” Panties

I had a company taxi chit, so after the party I tried calling a cab but I couldn’t get through so I took the c-train back downtown and figured I’d take the bus home from my regular stop. I had to wait 70 minutes in the freezing cold for the bus to show up! We’ve been having really crappy weather lately and a lot of snow so the busses have been late. I blame it mostly on our Mayor who blows money on fancy bridges and art galleries and only gets re-elected because there’s literally no one else to vote for. Anyway- don’t get me started on Calgary politics. Needless to say, I wasn’t very happy when I got home from work today!! But, I’m all better now.